#tfebt: 5 Types of Friends We Should All Have

According to Shelley Emling’s article on the Huffington Post, there are 5 specific types of friends we should all have:

  • Friends who make an effort.
  • Friends who are genuinely happy when good things happen.
  • Friends who are upbeat.
  • Friends who are up for anything.
  • Friends who are authentic.

I’d like to offer up a revised list.

Friends who make equal or greater efforts to you.

While I agree, friends should make an effort–I feel the need to point out that effort is a two way street. If you are sitting alone at home, alone, wondering why no one is contacting you–you don’t get to say “My friends don’t make an effort” when you are not making an effort.

Friends who are honest with you about their feelings.

Friends shouldn’t have to be happy for you when something good happens. That is a situational issue. What if you and your friend apply for the same job which you both need desperately–are you supposed to be happy for your friend when you are still unemployed? What about if you both like the same boy/girl and s/he asks you out on a date? Is your friend obligated to feel genuinely happy and heart broken?

Friends who accept that you are upset and don’t call you a Debbie Downer.

This was my least favorite part of this article. Everyone is going through something. If you have a friend who is constantly negative, chances are s/he is going through something. Instead of being upset with them for feeling the way they are, you should be a better friend and help them through it.

Friends should be willing to try anything and also accepting of those who are not.

The example the article used was going to the spa where she, her friends, and everyone else would be naked. What if one friend is not comfortable with this? Does that me s/he is not a good friend?

Friends who are authentic.

Yes, absolutely, but part of being authentic is being honest. If your friend is happy for you when you get his/her job, s/he is probably not being honest with you. The same with a friend who is always happy. If they aren’t confiding both the positive and negative aspects of their life with you, how are you friends?

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4 comments

  1. I’m not sure I agree wholly with want a friend to be glad that you got their job. Yes, I don’t think they should be happy either, but there is such a thing as lying to spare someone’s feelings. Although I do wish people would be more honest, I know there are times that it’s better to tell a lie.

    I do agree though that if your friend is clearly upset you shouldn’t just tell them to get over it. Granted they might not want to talk about it right now either, but that doesn’t mean that you should approach them right then and there. Sometimes just being around is enough to help them through it.

    1. I also did not agree with a friend being happy they got your job. That’s like the whole “girl code” bs rules of interaction. I’m all for being supportive but other people don’t always need to come first.

  2. I absolutely loved this post. For the most part I can agree that all of these aspects are characteristics of a good friend. Unfortunately it is hard to find one person with all of these qualities, so I find that sometimes we become friends with numerous people who may each only obtain one of these qualities, but when in a group, all character traits are present. Personally, I am very fortunate to say I have three extremely close friends who all have these characteristics, and I believe that is the reason we have been so close for so long.

  3. This is a great post. There are so many instances where you can tell if someone is being fake with you, because they’re trying to adhere to the “girl code” or “guy code”. I know that all I want out of my friends is honesty and them being good friends, i.e., supportive and the such. Great job outlining it all!

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